The idea that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is one of the most persistent and damaging myths in psychology. For most people, trauma leaves a wound. The wound can heal. But healing is not the same as emerging improved. The distinction matters enormously.
· 8 min read
Read →Your attachment style is not your personality. It is a coping strategy a child built to survive their specific family. The question is whether you have updated it since.
· 9 min read
Read →We talk about narcissists as if they emerged fully formed, incapable of empathy by nature. The developmental psychology tells a different story: narcissism is a structure built in childhood to survive specific kinds of emotional failure. That changes what we should do about it.
· 10 min read
Read →Anxiety evolved to keep you alive. It is extraordinarily good at that job. The problem is the job it was designed for no longer exists, but the system never got the memo. Understanding this changes everything about how you relate to it.
· 8 min read
Read →We have spent decades misunderstanding depression as extreme unhappiness. It is not. It is the collapse of the feeling that anything will ever be different. That distinction matters more than any antidepressant.
· 9 min read
Read →The advice to set boundaries at work assumes a negotiating position you probably do not have. Here is what actually happens when people with less power try to enforce limits with people who have more.
· 6 min read
Read →You cannot concentrate. You cannot have a private conversation. You can be seen by your manager at all times. That last one is the feature, not a bug.
· 6 min read
Read →You have watched something wrong happen at work and said nothing. So has everyone else who works there. This is not weakness. It is a rational response to an irrational incentive structure. But it is destroying something.
· 7 min read
Read →When workers started doing exactly what their job description said and nothing more, management called it a crisis. The workers called it a fair day's work for a fair day's pay. One of these framings is correct.
· 6 min read
Read →They gave you a hoodie with the logo, a team that feels like family, and a mission you genuinely believe in. Now you will work twice as hard for two-thirds the pay and feel proud of it. That was the plan.
· 7 min read
Read →The company values on the wall are not a description of how people behave. They are a tool for making people conform to how leadership wants them to behave. The culture is what actually happens when nobody is looking at the values.
· 7 min read
Read →You did not burn out because you were weak or did not manage your time well. You burned out because you were in a system designed to extract more than it returns, and your body eventually sent the invoice.
· 7 min read
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